You are awesome

It's a snow day. I could be doing school work, but that can be done later this weekend. LOL! So I decided to take advantage of the time by doing some writing.

When I looked at Mama Kat's writing prompts, I could have chosen several to write about this week. However, I chose to write about a time my heart melted.

After my bereavement leave from work, one of my co-workers asked me if I had a church. My family and I have been attending our church for almost 10 years, so I told her yes. She told me about her church. I put its name in the back of my mind. God was speaking to me through her, but I didn't know why.

During the Christmas season, I started to become depressed because of my mom's death and the anniversaries of various family member's death. Four family members died in December. It's a difficult month for me.

I looked up the church my co-worker told me about because there was something God wanted to find there. It was then I found Celebrate Recovery. I've been trying to figure out how to describe it until someone finally put the words into my mouth. It's a Christian-based support group. I'm finding Godly people who may not have gone through what I have gone through but are willing to support me as I maneuver myself through this season of life that I wasn't expecting to go through right now.

I've started helping in the kitchen now. Mom would have been proud of me because she loved helping people. She made hats for my students and knitted knockers for women who had breast cancer and had to have mastectomies. 

I'm giving back in a way that I enjoy. It's a blessing to me.

Wednesday was their one-year anniversary, so there were a lot of people expected to be there. I helped make a salad and then served food. One of the regulars came through,,, looked at me,,, and said, "You are awesome! I'm thankful you are here." 

I have a feeling that it was God speaking through him. You see, I had an overwhelming day on Wednesday. There was a constant stream of students in and out of my room. I had to ask someone to take over my room so I could go to the bathroom, which only happens sometimes.

It was not until the next morning that those words really sunk in. I cried joyful tears because even though I'm going through this season of life, I know God has not forsaken me. He faithfully walks along with me as I maneuver through this season of life. 

This was the most recent time that my heart melted. I'm thankful for those words, and I'm thankful God used this young man to say them to me.

Have a magical day,
Traci

Learn to pronounce

How my stubbornness helped me succeed

My zodiac sign is Taurus. Whenever people hear the word Taurus, they usually think of one word and that is stubborn.

So am I stubborn? My friends and family will say, "Yes!" She can be extremely stubborn when she wants to be.

However, what does the word stubborn really mean? 

When I looked it up in the dictionary, here is what I came up with: having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something.

Okay, that is true I can be stubborn about some things. Then I thought about my life. I've been doing a lot of reflecting on how my past has shaped my present.

That is me on the right. I am with Celine, my French roommate from Walt Disney World.

I was 20 years old and on my way to be the first one in my family to get my bachelor's degree. I was not going to allow anyone to be in my way. In that manner, I was stubborn like a Taurus, my zodiac sign.

The next 3.5 years after this photo was taken were difficult. If I hadn't had God on my side, my stubbornness would have killed me. I was working myself way too much with actual work and schooling. 

It was not until I met my husband did I finally slow down a little bit. My stubborn side kept me going though because I was bound and determined to get that degree.

Some am I like my zodiac sign? Yes, I am stubborn which can be viewed as a bad quality when in reality if it is used correctly is a quality that is actually good.

There are also other qualities of a Taurus that I possess - patience, stability, hard-working, love of food, and determination. I possess all of those traits. Today I just wanted to focus on the one that got me where I am today.

Have a magical day,
Traci

I Open Up My Heart

Every morning, my phone starts to sing "I open up my heart. You can love me or not." It's 6 o'clock in the morning and that's my alarm going off.

The song lyric is from P!nk's song "I Am Here." Even though there are few lyrics in the song I disagree with, the majority of the song is positive. When I was at her concerts, it was like we were at a gospel revival when the song was sung.

There are several lyrics that resonate in me when I hear them. They really make me think.

The first lyric is the opening lyric "I open up my heart. You can love me or not." 

Not everyone is going to like you. You might not be their cup of tea which is okay. God has said to be joy and kindness where ever you are in the world. So when I hear those words, it reminds me of the commandment God has issued on my heart and life. It's not up to me to make people to like me. My job is to be his light in the world.

Now the next lyric is questionable because she says there is no such thing as sin. I know there is sin in the world. There has been since the Earth was created by God.

Humans will always ask "Where do we go when we go?" If you have unwavering belief in God, you already know the answer- I'm going to Heaven. However there are times in life, when the Devil will enter your mind and try to tell you that you are not going to go to Heaven. We need to resist the talk from the Devil. When I hear that lyric, I can fully answer, "I'm going Home - Heaven."

The other lyric that resonates through me when I hear the song is "I've already seen the bottom, so there's nothing to fear. I know that I'll be ready when the Devil is near." It reminds me of the 23rd Psalm.

I'm going through a hard time emotionally because of the death of my mom. The Devil has tried weasel his way into my mind. I cannot be fearful because I know God has my back. I will arm myself with scripture for when he tries to take over my mind.


The final lyric that resonates in my heart is "I am HERE!" I don't need a spotlight on me to know I'm doing his work. However, I do need to remind myself that even though life has gotten tough I am still here living. I need to work on God's plan for me even though I don't quite know what his plan is for me.

Have a magical day,

Traci