An Impossible Task

My pile of papers constantly take a trip back and forth to work. Some of the papers are finally moved from the ones that vacation in my car and perhaps into my house to their cubbies where they will live for the remainder of the school year. While other papers will join the ever growing pile of papers.

Every 4.5 weeks, I tell myself I'll get more organized and add my grades to the Google Doc weekly so I don't have the task of putting the grades in the Google Doc at the end of the grading period. Instead of being manageable at the time I collect the papers, I make it into an impossible task.

Once I sit down and actually attempt to conquer this mountain of papers, I get overwhelmed. I know I need to get the task done because other people are relying on me getting done with these papers and getting the grades into my Google Doc so they can plug them into the progress reports.

Finally all of the papers are graded and put into the Google Docs. They are ready to be cut and pasted into the progress reports.

I'll say to myself once more that I'll be more on top of things this next grading period and then once again I face the impossible task of the growing pile of papers.

Alive in Christ

4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved. Ephesians 2:4-5

Before we begin, we need to look at the word transgressions. What does the word mean? It’s an act that goes against a law, rule, or code of conduct otherwise known as an offense.

As humans, we are sinners. No one is perfect. The only human that was perfect was Jesus Christ. He saved us through his death on the Cross. Our transgressions were taken away by the shedding of his blood.

When Jesus’s blood was shed, we were saved by grace. 

Again, we are at a crossroads. What is grace? Simply said, it’s a gift from God. This grace aids us in our everyday life. 

Simply said, God is constantly forgiving us daily. It’s up to us to accept this gift from him. He sent us his one and only son to remind us of this gift. It’s up to us to accept this gift.

This gift allows us to be alive in Christ. 

If we are alive in Christ, we form a father-child relationship with him. This relationship makes us whole and holy.

We are invited into his holy family/. Instead of wishing we were in Heaven, Heaven is on Earth in your heart and soul.

Dear God,

Thank you for sending your only son to Earth so that he could die on the Cross to save ME. I, a lowly sinner, was called to be your special daughter. You want me to be part of the Holy family. What an honor! Thank you once again for making me alive in you.

In Jesus’s name, Amen!

Welcome

Welcome and Salutations

Okay, why do I sound so formal? That is not how I really talk.

Let me introduce myself. I'm Traci, a middle aged, mother of two teenage boys. I'm a special educator which means that I help students who have identified difficulties with their learning. 

I am also an orphan which means of my original family of 4 - father, mom, sister, and myself - I am the only one that is still living.

My mom, sister, and I left father back in July of 1985. He passed away in November 1996.

My sister suddenly passed away on August 28, 2016 and my mom recently died in October of this year. 

So my life has suddenly changed in the past 3.5 years. I went from having my immediate original family (OG family) to having none of them left.

I've been married for the past 20.5 years so I have my immediate family with my two sons and husband but it's not the same as having your OG family.

Moving Forward

When I lost my mom in October, I was at a fork in the road. Robert Frost wrote the poem "The Road Not Taken." While at the fork in the road where the two roads diverged, I could take the one that looked the prettiest or I could take the one that was messy and full of thorns. It was up to me how I wanted to continued on this journey called life.

"I took the one less traveled by

And that has made all the difference."

I took decided to take the messy one. That messy one is one that required me to look back on my life and reevaluate some events that had occurred in my life that made me who I am today.

So, how am I doing that? On my bucket list for many years has been the idea that I should write. I always joke around that I should write about my years as a teacher and some of the sweet and bizarre stories I've collected over the years. However, I get caught up in the technical aspects of writing that I get a writer's block before I even get started writing. Perhaps it is the years of writing IEP's that has caused that writer's block.

However as my husband will tell you, there are times when I get an idea in my head and I'll go for it full throttle. There are me talking about doing something and joking about it. And then there are the times that I go full throttle. He knew I was serious about getting my tattoo because my tone in my voice changed when I was talking about it.

However, it was not me that decided I needed to go full throttle with the idea of writing a book. Okay, I am not truly going full throttle but I am putting my heart and soul into the book. Some days I really don't want to write and that is okay. Other days I can't stop writing.

So who decided I needed to tell and write my story. Other people who know me. They've discovered that I'm a writer. I just needed to get over the hurdle of it has to be perfectly edited when I write it down. I have students' edit their sentences so why don't I just get my thoughts down first and then edit my writing? Isn't that part of the writing process? Duh, Traci that's what you need to do.

Continuing on because I can ramble about random mess. I've lived a life that could have taken a different route. It's scary to think about how my life could have been if it wasn't for key players coming into my life.

I have a main blog on Wordpress that I have been writing on for almost 10 years. This blog is for my book that I'm writing.  I'm 55% of the way to my goal of 40,000 words. Currently I'm at 22,000 almost 23,000 words in the past 1.5 months.

What am I going with this book once it is written? I don't know just yet. God only knows what is going to happen once it's written. Maybe I'll get it published or maybe it'll only be shared with family and friends. 

So join me on this journey of self discovery as I travel the road less traveled.

Traci