A Year Later

         The air was completely still as we walked around the backyard.

         We laughed as I commented, “We are walking around during a tornado warning.”

         A few minutes later, we went back in the house to get ready for bed thinking nothing about those tornado warnings because tornadoes were rare around here. As I laid in bed, my mind wouldn’t shut down, so I scrolled through Facebook. All of the sudden, I saw the words, “Tornado has hit Trotwood.”

         As quick as I could, I jumped out of my bed and screamed, “It’s real,” as tears rolled down my face.

         “Everyone to the bathroom,” I yelled!

         Our bathroom is a tiny room. Imagine trying to fit 4 people and a dog into what is basically a walk-in closet sized room. Will and I took the floor. Hubby sat on the toilet. Nick had just finished his bath, so he put on his bathing suit and sat in the water that hadn’t drained.

         The perfect Memorial Day was now a nightmare. The blue skies were replaced with an angry black monster. The pinging of the hail began hitting our house like millions of basketballs being hit against the wall. My back was against the bathroom door and felt all the vibrations of our house being struck repeatedly by the baseball sized hail.

         My phone kept beeping. Every time we thought we were in the clear, the tornado sighted alarm went off. People kept texting me to make sure our family was safe. Nick was on the phone with his now ex-girlfriend trying to console her. It was the most surreal moment in my life.

         Two hours after seeing “Tornado has hit Trotwood,” we were free to go to bed. We were fortunate because our house had been spared. I praised God for his protection over us.

         Sleep was not possible that night. Worry hung over me. At 3 o’clock in the morning, I walked around my backyard. The air was completely still.

         It was not until daylight would anyone know the true amount of destruction that had occurred on that night where the landscape of the area I know was drastically changed.

         That night taught me two lessons: never say never and the value of community. We never thought a tornado would occur in our city. And the amount of support we got from strangers was amazing. Even people who lost it all were out helping their neighbors.

         Now a year later, I will always remember the stillness of the night before the angry monster tore through our city.

         

The Struggle

I was struggling to lift my awkward shaped trunk off the luggage carousel. Impatient people surrounded me waiting to get their own luggage, so they could begin their long-awaited vacation or finally arrive home after a long journey. Many unfamiliar languages were heard in my ear. The song “A Whole New World” could have been my theme song of the moment.

No one volunteered to offer me aid with the lifting of this awkward trunk. The blue trunk was almost my height and weighed at least half of my weight. It held all my belongings I was going to need for the next four months.

One of the luggage carousel's at the Orlando Airport

I needed to get that trunk from point a which was the luggage carousel to point b which was the Mears Transportation counter all by myself. It was almost impossible to carry because of its shape and the fact I also had my carry-ons in my hands. Questions of why I didn’t bring a trunk with wheels or why didn’t I have this shipped after I got to my destination flashed through my brain. Too late now because I was now in the predicament and needed to get out of it.

It was September 5, 1995. I was moving to the Orlando area for four months. No one volunteered to travel with me to make sure I got to Vista Way, my new home safely. It was up to me and only me to move that trunk all by myself.

I tried to carry it – NOPE. I could take a few steps at a time which means almost 25 years later I would be still moving that darn thing. I ended up doing a combination of pushing it and carrying it which was probably hilarious to see in the middle of the airport. Finally, I reached my destination. Now it was time to begin my real journey – my Disney College Program.

That probably 10-minute moment in the airport cemented the fact that I was on my own and that I could face anything that was placed in front of me during those next few months. At that point in my life, I had never lived away from home. For my first experience, I moved almost 1,000 miles away.

I can’t recall how I got the trunk from the drop off point at the apartment complex to my new apartment or how it got home at the end of my program. Those moments were insignificant because they did not symbolize my freedom and my realization of, I’m stronger than I think I am. It was also a time where I realized I couldn’t rely on my family to help me.

The Corridor I had to walk with my trunk - Taken almost 20 years later

The Penny

Perhaps you have heard about pennies being sent from Heaven.

I have heard about this phenomenon but never knew it truly happened or not.

That's when it happened to me when I cleaned my house. Pennies would suddenly be in my dirt pile when I swept the hall or the kitchen.

When I told Hubby, he told me it was because of the hole in the pocket of his jeans.

I knew it was more than a hole in his jeans when the pennies would appear on the driver's seat of my car or when I found the penny by the kitchen sink after I had cleaned it up and there was no penny beforehand.

Another day I found a penny in the hallway at work.

Then I found one at Hot Head Burritos.

So what is the significance of the penny?

I believe it's a sign from my mom. She used to buy me lunches when we were out and about. Her love language was buying me things when she had little to give.

Have you heard of the parable of the widow's offering?

In Luke 21:1-4, Luke talks about people giving their offering. Jesus says" . . . but she . . . has given everything she has." (NLT)

Mom is giving me a sign that I'm still here and giving you all I can.

Even though I'm missing her, I know she and God will take care of me.

Thank you, God.

Gratitude Journal

I have heard that it is good to have a gratitude journal. You write down what you are thankful for on any given day. I've toyed with the idea for a long time but have never got around to doing it.

Then I remembered this journal I bought on what would have been my sister's 42nd birthday. Both she and my mom loved cats. They used to feed the feral cats at their apartment.

After her death, she would manifest herself as a Monarch butterfly. I saw Monarchs up to the first Thanksgiving after her death.

In January of 2017, I decided I needed either jewelry or a tattoo of a Monarch so I could keep her memory alive. On what would have been my father's birthday, I got my first, and for right now, only tattoo. The tattoo is of a Monarch butterfly.

I've carried this journal around since September. I didn't know what I wanted to use it for. Now I know.

So what is a gratitude journal? Simply put, it's a journal that lists what you are thankful for each day. I think I'm going to also write down if I did some self-care either spiritually, emotionally, mentally, or physically. Doing this will let me know if I'm really taking care of myself.

After losing my sister and mom to heart disease, I need to make sure I'm taking care of myself. 

Wish me luck,
Traci